Red Flags For Seniors Internet Dating

Finding a like-minded guy or girl that you could be happy with seems like the easiest thing in the world until you actually start dating. Then you realize the search for love is often a long and complicated one. Even when you finally meet someone special, how do you know they’re the right person for you? Relationship red flags can be evident to everyone but you; looking at the world through rose-colored glasses just makes all red flags look like normal flags.

For subscription information please refer to the description in the canada british senior dating. Why Choose Dating Sites For Seniors Over 50s, 60s, 70s. The FTC recently circulated information that customers reported $201 million lost in internet dating scams, up almost 40%. Seniors in many cases are.

You could try to convince yourself that your relationship is going to be a happy one, but if that gut feeling is telling you something’s not right – trust it. Don’t try to avoid the truth just because you’re hoping it will get better. Save yourself the time and heartbreak by taking a look below.

Early Relationship Red Flags

No communication

If you’re having fun with the person, but you notice they have trouble talking about how they feel, you should definitely think about moving on. Even though this doesn’t seem like an issue now, it’s definitely a red flag that’s just going to get more difficult to deal with over time.

You shouldn’t have to rack your brain trying to figure out how they’re feeling and what they’re thinking. Being honest and open is the number onesign of a happy relationship with a future partner. The dating red flags checklist for people who can’t express their feelings includes emotional distancing from their partners, not dealing with feelings on their own, and often leaving their partner hanging. They also might give you the silent treatment and resort to passive aggression when they don’t like how things are.

Carrying troubling behavior to the present

People who have had dark pasts tend to hide them from new partners to avoid rejection. Addictive behaviors and illegal activities that continue to happen even as your relationship starts are definitely some of the biggest relationship red flags and deal breakers. Don’t think that they’ve changed and grown out of certain behaviors if they’re still hiding things from you or acting suspiciously.

If any sort of behavior they indulge in is making you feel uncomfortable – don’t let it slide. Don’t ignore something that you feel is strange or look for excuses. The fact that they’re continuing the harmful behavior from their past shows that they aren’t going to change any time soon. More importantly, though, you aren’t going to be the one to change them – recognize these behaviors as red flags in a relationship, and walk away.

Blast from the past

Another red flag from their past might be an unresolved relationship with their ex. They could still be too close with their ex, talking to them every day, and hanging out with them. It’s not just that, though. If they keep talking about their ex, blaming them for their problems, and badmouthing them, they are definitely still hung up on them.

This kind of behavior can be applied to other relationships in their life, too. Some of the most obvious red flags in relationships are constantly avoiding responsibility and blaming other people for their problems. You don’t want to be the rebound or the constant bad guy in your relationship.

Acting immature or unpredictable

Some people can have trouble being adults. In other words, it’s hard for them to manage their personal spaces and finances, they can’t hold onto a job, and they don’t really have any plans for the future. If this sounds like your partner, you ought to rethink the relationship. Some definite red flags in dating an immature person include them having no ambition, stability, or future plans for themselves. If this is the case, how do you expect your relationship to have a strong future?

They may also have small problems that take up all of their time and energy. This means that they’ll often be too involved with their own lives to have the energy for you and your needs. All of these are signs of a person who needs to grow up. If you continuedating them, you’ll have trouble relying on them for basically anything.

Controlling Relationship Red Flags

Criticizing everything you do

This is something that can start small, then build up to something huge. It can start by them criticizing the way you do something, then it can escalate to criticizing every little thing you say, do, or even think. Many people try to convince themselves that this is just their partner trying to help them become better. However, it is definitely a big deal if someone doesn’t like the way you eat, dress, speak, or decorate your own home.

No matter how insignificant and small a comment may seem, it’s definitely one of the biggest red flags in an abusive relationship. It’s part of a bigger and constant pattern that is going to ruin your mental and emotional health over time. If your partner can find faults in everything you do, they simply don’t value or accept you as a person. How can you expect unconditional love from such a dynamic?

They seem to be your only friend

Isolating you from your friends and family is also something that will usually start subtly. Red flags of dating a controlling partner include finding faults in your friends, complaining about how often you talk to your family, and discouraging you from hanging out with the people you care about.

It will all be done under the false pretense that they want you to be happy and away from the bad people in your life. The scary part is, you may actually start to believe that your partner is right. If you notice that’s starting to happen, you’re definitely dealing with some of the worst dating red flags.

The real goal of this kind of emotional manipulation is to get rid of your support network. That way, whenever they want to overpower you and get their way, you’ll be less likely to stand up to them. In many cases, this can also be the start of controlling other aspects of your life.

Teasing and ridiculing you

If your partner often complains how sensitive you are to their teasing and that you can’t take a joke, they’re actually masking emotional abuse. Telling apart abusive relationship red flags from joking around comes down to what both parties are comfortable with. Don’t keep convincing yourself it’s just a joke if it makes you feel uncomfortable or insecure.

As well as that, your partner may try to ridicule your long-term beliefs under the same pretense. They also might try to convince you that they know better and that your beliefs don’t make sense. It’s not the same when you’re having a debate and challenging each other’s beliefs and when someone is making you feel stupid. One of the strongest relationship red flags a controlling partner will show is not wanting to see your point of view or challenge their own opinions. Instead, they want you to think more like them.

Overactive jealousy and snooping

People often confuse jealousy with care and love. The truth is, jealousy is a definite red flag that stems from possessiveness and can turn into something really dangerous, really quickly. Dating red flags can also include your partner thinking that most or all of your actions are motivated by the need to attract someone else. They could argue that you’re not going out for a drink with a friend, but to cheat on them. Or, they might complain that you’re only going to the gym so others would find you attractive.

This behavior can often lead to them checking up on you and constantly texting you when you’re not together, as well as going through your things. One of the sure red flags when dating a controlling partner is that they will try to forbid you from going to the gym or seeing that friend, and they might even insist you can’t go anywhere without them.

Not giving you space or respecting your need to be alone is also a big sign of a controlling relationship. They’ll often make you feel guilty for trying to spend time without them, and they might act like you don’t love them because of it.

All of these relationship red flags are recognizable because they make you feel weak and lower your confidence. Partners like these often want you to completely depend on them so they can take charge of your life. If you keep having to explain innocent behaviors to them, often feel guilty, belittled, or like you have to report to them for everything – run. The longer you stay, the harder it will be to fight back, and the worse it will get for your emotional and mental health.

Online Dating Red Flags

They seem too good to be true

It’s easy to fall in love with someone you’ve only met online, especially when they seem to check off all of your boxes. After a while ofspending your time on Tinder, Bumble, or any other dating app, you might think that you’ve finally found the one.

They respond to all your texts, their pictures seem perfect, and you share almost every interest and opinion. If something seems too good to be true – it often is. This is one of the early red flags in dating that you should consider before you start idealizing this person more without having met them. What do you actually know about them? Do they have any interests that don’t include yours, or their own opinions? Can you find a single flaw?

Their other profiles are strangely private

If you’ve only been texting this person on one app and their other profiles seem too private, you might bedealing with a catfish. One of the most obvious red flags in a man or a woman you meet online is that they’ll try to hide while still using dating apps. No one looking for something real does that.

In fact, they don’t even have to be a catfish to be hiding something. A person that doesn’t want you to know anything about their life but intends on dating you most likely doesn’t have good intentions. Don’t try to tell yourself that they’re just shy. Telling you about their life but hiding all those details on their other profiles is one of the most definite online dating red flags out there.

They avoid personal questions

Mysterious isn’t really sexy when it’s preventing you from getting to know the person. If the guy or girl you’re texting avoids answering personal questions, you can bet they’re hiding something. It doesn’t even have to be something big, but it definitely has the potential of being dangerous.

This behavior is manifested in switching conversation topics as soon as things get personal, blatantly ignoring your questions, or just asking you things without the intention of answering the same questions. To effectively deal with these kinds of early red flags in relationships and dating, be careful not to give away too much about yourself too soon. You never know who could be on the other side of the screen.

They text you non-stop until you respond

If the person you’ve only met online can’t respect your time and boundaries while you’re still just texting, they definitely won’t be able to respect them when you meet. Being attentive and checking up on you is one thing, but sending you text after text even if you said you couldn’t talk will definitely be one of the strongest red flags in a relationship with a man or woman youmet online.

It’s only worse if they try to make you feel guilty for not replying. These texts could also show a range of emotions from apologetic to angry – all changing in the span of a couple of minutes. Those are definitive signs of an unstable and controlling person you should stay away from.

Conclusion

If you can recognize some of these relationship red flags in your partner or date, it’s definitely time to move on. It may seem painful now, but it’s better to walk away while nothing serious has happened yet. You don’t want to wake up one day in a serious relationship only to realize that you aren’t happy. Don’t let this step back strip you of confidence and disappoint you in love. The person you’re looking for is just around the corner.

Last Updated on February 24, 2021

A new relationship with someone you really like can make you feel like you’re walking on cloud nine. A seemingly match made in heaven, however, can potentially blind you—as well as deafen you—to serious negative behaviors. These can include untreatable personality disorders, such as antisocial personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, and borderline personality disorder, to name a few.

Frequently, there are red flags—signs that indicate that something is amiss. These are signs that you would easily see in your friend’s new love interest but be oblivious to in your own. Below is a short video about red flags in dating.

If ignored, red flags in a relationship can turn an apparently romantic relationship into an ugly and painful alliance. And the deeper you get, the more excruciating it will eventually become. Fortunately, the alerts along the way highlight certain behaviors that let you know something is extremely wrong—that you need to get out before you get in too deep.

Below, I’ve delineated some red flags in a relationship and how they might appear.

1. Moves Too Fast!

I had a client who started dating a co-worker. Within three weeks, he wanted to meet the family and actually did at a Christmas party. But that’s not all. He wanted to move in. He began talking in earnest about getting married and having children. Three weeks! If that is not a red flag, I don’t know what is.

During the first three weeks, you will see the finest aspects of the person. No one shows you their true self in the early phases of the relationship. After all, they’re trying to woo you. But keep your eyes open because they do show you enough. Consider it an “Amber Alert.”

I strongly suggested to my client that she date her co-worker for at least 1.5 to 2 years to actually get to know him better.

Caution: if someone is moving too fast, be careful. This is an indication that they are either desperate or that they want to catch you before you discover some deep, dark secret.

2. Puts You on a Pedestal

“Jane’s” new love interest put her on a pedestal after dating for only a few weeks. In his eyes, she was “perfect.” While it may seem flattering to have someone look at you adoringly all the time and to think that you’re the next best thing since sliced bread, it’s actually a little bit creepy and off-putting.

Within three months, he proposed. She accepted. It wasn’t long before he learned she was a bad cook and a worse housekeeper. Fights ensued. Their relationship became plagued with endless arguments. Her undeniable beauty had blinded him to her flaws. He’d built her up so much that when he actually saw her, he felt let down—dismayed.

According to the article, Why It’s Unhealthy to Put Someone on a Pedestal, “putting someone on a pedestal doesn’t just mean exaggerating their good qualities. It also involves attributing characteristics that they don’t even have and being blind to their weaknesses. Instead of seeing a flawed human, you consider your partner perfect, infallible, and superior (to you and everyone else).”

Remember, if you’re put on a pedestal, there’s nowhere to go but down. Your imperfections will surface. At this point, your “admirer” will know you’re not who he thought you were—and of course, you weren’t. No one is.

Beware of someone who puts you on a pedestal. You can’t rest there forever.

3. Reminds You Too Much of Mr. Hyde!

If you are on a date with your new guy and he starts yelling at the server because some aspect of his order arrived wrong, be on alert. Or while driving, he jerks his car to get around traffic while yelling out expletives. These behaviors scream out anger issues.

A young woman I recently treated told me about her marriage with an abusive man. When I asked her whether or not she’d seen red flags early on, she told me she had, but that she didn’t think they were a big deal.

“He was so sweet, otherwise,” she told me. She dismissed them, thinking, “He’s had a rough day at work.” Or, “I should have had dinner served on time.”

Someone’s incessant angry behavior should never be explained away. It only worsens over time. In this particular case, it ended with him trying to strangle her. It took nearly losing her life to finally leave the marriage and get into a Battered Woman’s Shelter.

Tip: Try and get as much information about your new partner’s past. If they’ve come from severely traumatic family life and are continuously exhibiting anger, seriously consider ending the relationship.

4. Is Disrespectful

How does your partner treat you? Does he put you down? Does he make major decisions without consulting you? Does he embarrass you in front of others? Does he look at other women/men while in your presence?

Maybe he dismisses what you say as “stupid” or “insignificant” or puts down your work. If you have a partner who doesn’t prioritize you and refuses to spend time with your family, it’s a show of disrespect. No relationship is perfect, but don’t allow yourself to be mistreated, taken for granted, or diminished in any way.

In the article, 9 Signs Your Partner Doesn’t Respect You Enough, Laken Howard states, “Healthy relationships are all about establishing and respecting one another’s boundaries, and a partner who repeatedly ignores or tramples all over your boundaries—whether it’s in the bedroom or outside it—clearly doesn’t respect you enough.”

5. Is Too Clingy!

If someone you’re dating is too clingy, that’s another red flag. What is “too clingy?” Someone who constantly wants to be by your side is too clingy. Their life starts and ends with you. Outside of their relationship with you, they have nothing. It’s like they’re glued at the hip. If you want some alone time, they’ll accuse you of not loving them.

I once knew a woman like this. She hung on her honey’s every word. When he would play the guitar, she was at his feet, looking up at him worshipfully. She didn’t have her own identity. Having someone revere you like that may seem like a sweet thing. I mean, who wouldn’t want to be adored? But that adoration can turn sour. Eventually, you’ll feel like you’re being smothered.

Personal time is important. If your partner wants to do everything with you and you notice that they have no life outside of you, then that’s a red flag to watch out for.

6. Is a Master Manipulator

If you feel fear, obligation, or guilt, chances are you’re being manipulated. Manipulators will use myriad ways of manipulating you into getting what they want and leave you feeling powerless, disoriented, and thwarted.

According to the article, Red Flags: Are You Being Emotionally Manipulated?, “Manipulation is any attempt to sway a person’s emotions to get them to act in a specific way or feel a certain thing.”

Everyone is guilty of manipulation at one point or another. Mostly it’s harmless. But the “master manipulator” is one to be avoided at all costs. One of their most effective tools is the use of fear. They will threaten you or use violence as a means to achieve their goals. Over time, all they need is a menacing tone and intimidating body language to get you to comply with their demands.

Another powerful tool in the manipulator’s tool belt is the silent treatment. If you don’t do what they want, they will simply stop talking to you—act as though you don’t exist. This is one of the most painful types of punishment.

Preying on your insecurities is another favorite tactic. For example, let’s say you feel insecure about the way you look. Your manipulator will use that to his advantage by saying something like, “With the way you look, no one but me will ever love you!” These are just some of how manipulators get their way, but there are many others.

7. Has a Seesaw Attitude

Watch for someone who has a Seesaw Attitude. It’s a phrase I coined because you actually feel like you’re a seesaw—up one minute, down the next.

Red Flags Dating Women

This person can go from loving to hateful on a dime, or vice versa. They can behave in an odious and cruel way, leaving you to feel lost, scared, and trapped. Then suddenly, they turn into Gandhi—acting loving and charming. Once you start to let down your guard, they may turn back into a monster. There’s no way to know when and how long it will last.

If you see this red flag waiving, run, hide, and don’t look back!

8. Keeps Secrets/Vague

If the person you’re dating is purposely vague and secretive, beware. If they don’t want to talk about their past, what they do for work, or tell you anything about their family, there is something untoward happening.

Some ways you can detect if secrets are being kept from you are as follows:

• They suddenly become the nicest person in the world. While this may not seem like a bad thing, it could be, especially if it deviates from their normal behavior. They may be trying to throw you off their scent.
• They are excessively proprietorial of their smartphone. They never share their code, they take it everywhere (even the bathroom), and calls are taken in another room.
• They overreact when you confront them, making you feel like you’re mad for even asking about it.
• They don’t share where they’re going or where they’ve been. For instance, “I’m going out!” Where? you ask, “Just out!”

According to the article, If Your Partner Does These 7 “Common” Things, They May Be Hiding Something, “Although you don’t have to keep tabs on each other every second of the day, it’s never a good sign if your partner is vague about where they have been or what they have been doing.”

A kept secret, unless about a surprise party, should not be ignored. It’s a huge red flag in a relationship, and one you don’t want to justify, excuse, or rationalize away.

9. Gaslights You

If you are with a partner who gaslights you, you have a grave problem on your hands. Narcissists are really good at this.

What is gaslighting? Essentially, it’s a type of manipulation. The gaslighter will try and make you doubt yourself and make you feel like you’re crazy. He can do this in several ways. For example, he will trivialize—minimize your feelings or make you feel like they don’t matter. He’ll often accuse you of “overreacting.”

Another gaslighting technique is countering whatever you say. He’ll question your memory, make up new details, or deny that something happened. And yet another way is by forgetting/denying. You might mention a specific event, to which they might respond, “I don’t remember that.” Or, “You’re crazy. That never happened.”

People who are gaslighted literally start to distrust themselves and start to question what they remember, what they said, or did. Living with this type of individual is like living in a kind of mental hell. Watch out for that red flag and get away as fast as possible.

10. Has Contrasting Core Values

Having similar core values is highly important to the success of any relationship. For instance, if you’re a homebody and he’s an adventurer who loves traveling the world, consider this a possible red flag in a relationship. Or if you love saving money for a rainy day, and he spends your money as soon as it is directly wired into your account, again, that’s a problem. Perhaps he’s a devout Catholic who wants 10 kids, and you’re a spiritual Reiki healer who loves going on enlightenment retreats and wants no children. You get the picture.

You both must be on the same page. If not, power struggles are certain to ensue, and either you’ll both be miserable, or one of you will end up compromising your life away.

11. Isolates You From Your Family and Friends

Anyone who makes constant demands to keep you from your family and friends is a huge cause for concern. It may start little by little. For example, he might say, “Why don’t you stay home tonight; I’m going to miss you so much! I want my baby near me.” At first, you may feel flattered and think, “Aww, he loves me so much, he just wants to be with me.” Don’t be fooled.

If your partner wants to keep you all to himself all the time, run! This is how domestic situations begin. The man starts alienating you from the people closest to you. Eventually, you feel like you have no one but him, and that’s exactly the way he wants it! So, yes, this is definitely another red flag in a relationship to look out for. Isolation of any kind is not flattering—it’s dangerous.

Final Thoughts

Don’t be fooled into thinking you can turn a red flag in a relationship into green. People don’t typically change. If you see one of the above red flags, there is a problem. Staying in the relationship in hopes that things will turn around is a waste of time.

Red Flags For Online Dating Scams

Red Flags For Seniors Internet Dating Reviews

In my experience, the above-mentioned red flags and the people who wave them rarely, if ever, change for the better. In fact, it’s only a matter of time before the behavior escalates. And then, it’s like throwing a lit match into a vat of gasoline. Heed the warning, and you’ll be fine.

More Relationship Advice

Featured photo credit: Andrik Langfield via unsplash.com

Reference

Red Flags For Seniors Internet Dating Scam